"My Grandfather"

I did not have the fortune of seeing even one grandparent of mine and used to wonder as to how it would have been if at least one of my grandparents lived till I was a toddler.  My thoughts lead me into visions; of me running up to my grandparent into his or her outstretched arms; clinging as if to be shielded from imaginary evils; play and run around in the court yard; be pampered; sleep besides him or her and listen to stories; be taken into a world of fantasy; be fed and cared; so many things which my heart can feel and my mind envision.

My memories go back to our small village and my childhood friends. Some of my friends were fortunate to have grandparents and I used to see them tagging along their grandparents on the only street our village boasted of. The grandparents used to keep an eye on their grandchildren while they played and had some homemade snack to offer on their way back home. Holding the hands of their grandparents, my friends used to beam with joy and go home skipping and hopping.

 I, who did not know the joy of knowing a grandparent was away from such happiness till the time I met my Grandfather on a summer afternoon nearly four and half decades ago. It was a hot summer afternoon and a nap was justified. I lay on the floor of our hall and must have dozed off for quite some time. After what seemed to be infinity, I opened my eyes, looked up at the ceiling first and then behind my head.

The Image. Sitting near my head was an image of a very tall man, clad in white clothes  and seemed to be blessing me in some manner. I could hardly see his face but could make out that he is an old man with a benevolent face.

I got up with a start and turning backwards tried to locate him but he was gone.  Though his image vanished, the scene was permanently etched in my heart, mind and soul.

“Could he be My Grandfather? Did he come to give me a glimpse of my grandparent so that the longing in me ceases? Did he appear to say that I have someone who takes care of me from above and that there is nothing to worry?”

There were many questions cropping up in my mind but, I could hardly find any answers. For the next four and half decades, I got busy in career, family and self education so much so that I did not try to find answers to the above questions.

The Connect. Recently, during my early morning connect sessions, I saw the image appear again and it kept appearing continuously thereafter. One day, the more I looked at it, the clearer it became I exclaimed with joy “Grandfather”.

The image nodded its head with a big smile on its face and kept looking at me; its warmth radiating an unknown energy in me; the love in the eyes making me forget that I never saw any of my grandparents; its touch taking me back to my childhood. I could envision myself playing with my grandfather, running around our ancestral house, around coconut and banana trees, accompanying him wherever he went, cuddling up to him and being pampered.

As if understanding what is going in my mind, My Grandfather asked me “would you like to do all those things now”? I looked at him in surprise and said “yes” gleefully.

He took my hand, made me get up from my sitting posture and started walking. I felt as if I was walking on thin air and the surroundings seemed to be pleasant and new. I tugged at his hand as if to ask where we were going. He turned around and said “into a world unexplored; unaware; where you will be left with me and me alone. Enjoy the bliss”

“Will you be gone as happened in the past”? I asked.

“No. Call me from your inner self and I will appear. I am with you, within you  and will be forever”.

All of a sudden, as if thinking aloud I said “What if I want to see you as a grandchild of mine and play with you as a grandfather? Can the roles be switched?

The Higher Level.“Certainly. Its not the role which matters but the love and affection with which it is played. You can see me in whatever form you want to”. So saying, My Grandfather moved into a higher level beckoning me to follow.