Snippets from Life -- "A Nobody"

 

“Why call it Snippets?  The closest meaning of this is bits and pieces and I hope you do not wish to call your work as bits and pieces” My mind asked me.  There was a faint smile on my face when I said “After all,  our lives when viewed from a broader perspective are bits and pieces and I do not mind calling my work as Snippets” My voice rang loud and clear and seemed to have disturbed the early morning silence.

Heavy Feet. Just then there was something else which disturbed the silence and it was the sound of footsteps. It was the sound of feet being dragged as if they are carrying enormous weight and have no strength left to be lifted and placed ahead. I hear this sound everyday and through a clearing in the thick leaves of the creepers in my balcony, see the person to whom the feet belong. The sight is always discomforting; the feet belong to an old man in tattered clothes, carrying a large bag over his shoulders, collecting rags and moving from one street to another.

Today, I decided to follow him as he went about his routine; walked behind him from one street to another; saw him rummage through the garbage cans; stuff the waste in the large tattered bag over his slender shoulders and move in silence. He wore a disturbing silence around him except for the sound of his feet. It was still dark and I could not see his face or feet clearly. My mind nevertheless went ahead in spite of the darkness and started imagining ; of his background;  of the circumstances he faced in life; what made him a rag picker; his support systems and last but not the least the question whether he has any kith and kin or is alone.

By this time, the old man stopped near a tea stall by the corner of the street, put down the large bag and squatted on the floor. The tea stall opens early in the morning; for the morning walkers and the people who wait for the bus in the nearby bus stand. As I was still thinking about the old man, the man in the tea stall handed over a cup of tea to him as if it was a daily routine. Looking beyond the horizon, the old man accepted the cup of tea and started sipping it silently. The silence was becoming unbearable to me. I asked for a cup of tea for myself and moved closer to the old man. He looked up at me and that was the time I saw his face clearly.

Bright Face. His face was in contrast to his feet; bright; a big smile on the lips; sparkling eyes. It was such as to beget lot of respect automatically.  I do not know what made me do so but, I found myself placing a hand over his shoulder and he looked up at me in surprise. I gave him a friendly smile, ordered another cup of tea for each of us and sat next to him.

He continued to look at me in surprise as if he was unable to understand the reason for my friendliness. Even the man in the tea stall looked surprised. “I am interested to know about you” I found myself asking the old man. Surprise turning into disbelief, he merely said “about me?” I nodded my head and focused all my energy towards him.  It took some time for him to get over the disbelief and speak the first syllable which was no more than an incoherent murmur.  “I am a nobody.  I have shed my external form and have become a nonentity”.

The philosophical note in the answer surprised me and I could not believe that such an answer can come from a person who to the outside world is a rag picker. “What is he referring to? Is he something beyond what meets the eyes”?

A Nobody. Unmindful of what I was thinking, he went on in his rumbling voice as if a flood gate has been opened. “There were times when I thought that my external form was all pervasive and was on an endless external voyage; without an anchor; let the wind dictate the terms; sails following wind as an obedient servant. At times, I was stuck in midstream because there was no wind. I didn’t know which way to go. But, it slowly dawned upon me that I am the wind to my sails, that it is within me and not outside.  Ever since then, it is a different voyage. In fact, it is a journey; not in my external form but in an unfathomable inner self. That is when I shed my external form and became a nobody”.

It was as if I was hit by a ton of bricks. I was unable to say anything and could only mutter “Then why a rag picker’s form”? He smiled as if he knew what was coming and said “I am cleansing and purifying my soul”.

As if he finished what he had to say, he got up and moved away dragging his heavy feet slowly.